Up at 0252. Went to sleep at 2130.
So about 5.5 hours of sleep.
Night is dark and chill at 74 C.

If my forecasting is correct, I should begin to experience fatigue and headache by 0800. I can already sense a thickening of the area in the upper left quadrant. In 2012, I commenced appeal preparation in mid November and I began to experience “burn out” by late December, the first week in January.

Burn out describes a phase in which the headache is not immediately corrected by further sleep, or by activity avoidance. During a regular period of work, I will begin to experience the onset of fatigue after about 4 hours. This is then followed by a sense of incipient headache. My doctors have warned me that to continue to work past this point of incipient headache is to invite further trouble. On some occasions (such as today, and from November 2012 to January 2013) I face a deadline I cannot alter. I am therefore forced into a round the clock work schedule if I am to achieve legal compliance.

In early January 2013, after six weeks of a 7 days a week, round the clock work routine, I believe I had burned up, burned out, or completely utilized whatever form of mental reserve may have existed. I then entered what I call the “burn out” phase in which any further cognitive activity drains the “tank” almost immediately. There is no longer any form of reserve. The onset of headache is almost immediate.

The second aspect of the “burn out” phase is that a one, two, or three hour nap, no longer has any restorative effect. I would nap, or attempt to sleep for an extended period of hours, and despite this rest period, there was no sign of recovery. As soon as I awoke, I almost immediately began to experience headache. The only cure was to completely halt all cognitive demands, stop document production, and basically goof off. This sounds like a fantastic opportunity but, if you make the attempt, you will find it is extremely difficult to locate any form of activity that does not impose a cognitive demand on the brain. It is like trying to find an activity that does not require the heart to work. You don’t want to go there.

This year (2015), I commenced full time document prep when? At the end of April? Before? I was able to sustain a high degree of output up until recently. I seemed to not trigger fatigue and headache to the same extent as previously. The signs of distress were not immediately evident. I credit high levels of aerobic exercise for this outcome.

In 2012, I went 6 weeks before burn out.
In 2015, I went 12 weeks before burn out.

I am unable to judge the relative complexity of the documents in each period. My sense is that actual document complexity is approximately similar. If pushed for a better comparison, I would assert that the 2015 document is of greater complexity than that undertaken in 2012 / 2013.

My subjective opinion of the imposed work load is that 2012 resulted in a significantly greater imposed workload. On a scale of 1 to 10, the 2012 workload rates at 11. The document was of equal, or slightly lower complexity, yet the subjective experience of the workload was greater in 2012 than it has been in 2015. 2012 was very, very, very difficult. It was a constant push. An endless uphill struggle. Punishing and unrelenting. I came to loathe it. Fear it.

My subjective assessment is that the imposed work load in 2015 is not as great. That I am now more capable, or better able, to manage this type of activity. I do not believe that I could have performed the current work in 2012. This view is buttressed by the fact that I am dealing with events from 2012, I am reviewing files from 2012, and I am making interpretation, and seeing evidence of connection, that I simply failed to see in 2012 despite having the exact same evidence available to me.

It is only now, in 2015, that I am able to return to the period of 2012, and undertake a more accurate, in-depth assessment of what took place at that time. In many respects, I feel like a dummkopf for failing to understand what occurred in 2012.