In my current public routine I have been careful not to divulge the fact I am recovering from a TBI injury. I do not want to stand out; I just want to be another tree in the forest. The reason for this is straightforward. When I communicated the fact of my injury to others, I sensed a retreat on their part, a distancing. They pulled back from the relationship. In some cases the relationship was brought to an abrupt end.
I found this withdrawal curious. I explained it by reasoning that we live in a society that places a very high value on individual self actualization, independence, and intelligence. We prize intellect evidenced in the form of a quick and confident response. We are collectively less enamoured of dependence, individuals who are seen as slow, persons who lack agency.
The New York Times recently ran an article which supports this explanation:
Timothy Shriver, the chairman of Special Olympics, writes in a new book, “Fully Alive,” that people with intellectual disabilities bring those who are “normal” face-to-face with their own limitations. “In a world where we strive for independence and self-sufficiency,” he writes, “people with disabilities remind us that we are all dependent in some way.” The impulse has long been to hide these reminders away, locked in institutions or overlooked within families, sequestered from their own potential.