I have been trying to develop a better understanding of the blog software. As I do so, I rapidly become overwhelmed. I attempt to read the relevant technical material and it does not click. I study the same text again, and again, and it still does not take. I begin feeling very uncomfortable and I start to back away from the work I am attempting to perform.

This worries me.

In the past, in the info-tech sphere, I would totally devour technical information, readily grok it, and have no difficulty in moving forward with the implementation. This was true back when I was teaching myself a new programming language. It was true when learning a new software application. It was true when I worked for Gargantua in the global information factory. The customer wants support on some exotic new technology? No problem! I would just dive in and solve the issue.

Now I appear to become lost, or severely challenged, when making an equivalent attempt. I am trying to interact with one of the easiest to use, most widely adopted, open source software packages available. This is software with training wheels! It is software with all the sharp edges removed! Surrounded with lots of thick padding to protect the user from his own actions. Despite working on a platform with excellent ease of use, and a clear, straightforward UI, I continue to encounter problems. When I seek out additional technical resources, I encounter a similar set of problems. I have been working on these issues for several weeks now. And I acknowledge having made the same attempt months earlier, an attempt abandoned in frustration.

The software itself readily accommodates text input. Creating a blog post is not an issue. Making a post is a very straightforward task and amounts to little more than copying in some text, and pushing a button. Voila! All is done.

But I am attempting to dive deeper into the back end, to get under the hood, so to speak, and acquire a more comprehensive technical understanding. And, when I make this attempt, I quickly hit a wall. I become overwhelmed and discouraged; this is followed by an embarrassed retreat.

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I have been mulling this issue over to get a better fix on it.

I do not believe this is due to any further deterioration in my abilities. I think it has something to do with the level of complexity involved. I have the sense that I am able to operate in a few limited areas. Within those specific contexts, I am able to perform to a reasonable standard. When I seek to extend my operational boundaries beyond a narrow comfort zone, I easily become overwhelmed.

At some level there has been an improvement. One example is found in writing. I am able to hammer out a decent batch of prose. In some instances, I surprise myself by the quality of what I have written; I have not previously engaged in producing this form of written material. I believe I can detect an improvement in my skills from the first few months of the blog, up to today.

My photography has also improved, but for a different reason. With photography, I abandoned some sophisticated techniques. These techniques were not required to produce images for the web. With photography, the improvement has come from a relaxation of standards, or from embracing standards appropriate to the output medium.

Both writing and photography are long term skill sets. If my understanding of brain injury is correct, then well adapted procedural skills are rarely impacted by brain injury.

I am going to let this issue sit for a while, and see if I develop any further insight.