The Times They Are A Changin

Up at 0500. I have a sense that the times they are a changin and I attribute the changes to my daily walks.

Yesterday, I was struck by the earthy smell of the potatoes as they parted beneath the knife blade. For an instant I thought perhaps this was a flashback to the period when I would smell odours that had no physical origin, odours that were not truly present in reality. But I had the same experience when chopping parsley.

Until recently, I experienced great disappointment with the quality of the bunched herbs that I purchased. It didn’t much matter if it was Italian parsley, or Mexican Cilantro, or Dill. For some reason all herbs seemed to be largely devoid of aroma. And I should be a good judge of this as I was once a registered herb farmer. I thought perhaps this was due to the winter, or to extended time in transport, or poor product, or some other reason. I suspect the true reason has something to do with me.

I have noticed something similar elsewhere in the house. There is the occasional strange whiff from the kitchen garbage pail that I never noticed before, a rich mix of scents in the bathroom, another bouquet of odours in the bedroom. All of this is comparatively new. It predates the exercise routine but I believe the increased exercise has helped sharpen my senses in some way.

I have also noted a heightened sense of frustration. I continue to make mistakes with increased frequency and I have been very irritated with myself over these recurring performance deficits. I have blamed myself for backsliding, for not paying enough attention, or for failing to exert adequate effort. I have also sensed a fall off in the quality of blog posts.

Today, I searched the blog on another research endeavour and found a possible answer. A post from February 16th, 2014, seeks to justify spending most of the day preparing a single blog entry. An entire day to write 500 words! When I read this, I realized that I am now able to churn out a blog post in a matter of hours, not days. In fact, my newly developed speed is likely related to the poor quality of the posts. I am able to complete the task more quickly, but the drawback is a fall off in quality.

This is noticed elsewhere as well. I suspect that my sense of increased frustration at my forgetfulness, and my ongoing performance deficits, may be due to the fact that I am attempting to do more, that I am attempting tasks of greater complexity. The result is that I experience more frequent failure as a result of my present incapacity to operate in this more challenging mode.

This sounds like a negative. I suspect it is a positive sign. It indicates I am slowly beginning to grapple with a more complex sequence of tasks. As I extend out from my comfort zone, I encounter increased difficulty due to the fact I presently lack task mastery at this higher performance standard. But the fact I am challenging myself with tasks of increased difficulty and complexity is a very positive sign.

I also have a sense of being more feisty. This morning I felt a burst of anger toward Dr L and toward the health care system in Québec. This too is relatively new. It was this anger that drove me out of the house for a brisk march around the five mile circuit that I have now mapped out.