Rowing Upstream

Dr H has recommended that I keep up with this blog project. She feels that it has therapeutic benefits. I feel like I am rowing upstream and being constantly swept back by the current.

I have spent much of the past month wrapped up in making submissions to one medical body or another. I have this sense of progress due to the effort involved. But if I look at past documentation I discover that the problems I faced then are the same as those I face today. There has been little to no change.

The best example of this is an instrument I found on the web that serves to measure TBI. I completed this form in September of last year, almost a full year ago. When I go through all the entries I find my responses would be unchanged. So I experience the illusion of progress but if I measure that progress against an objective measure then I find I have made no progress at all.

I work very hard but all I have achieved is rowing upstream against the current and being borne forever backwards into the past. Apologies to F. Scott Fitzgerald.

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September 2012 Inventory