I will normally need to take a fatigue nap after four hours of work. I will fall asleep and automatically wake an hour later feeling refreshed. With my extended period of intense work on the project, I found myself waking later, and later. Ultimately, the one hour nap became a two hour nap, and then a three hour nap.
The three hour nap did not deliver the same sense of refreshment as was previously delivered by the one hour nap.
My abilities declined over time even though I was taking the naps. In other words, the recovery was not as great as it was previously. This suggests to me that there was some run down, or depletion, of a cognitive reserve. That at the start of the intense work period I had a greater degree of cognitive reserve and the ongoing cognitive exertion fully exhausted this reserve.
Headaches also presented themselves earlier, became more intense, and involved a larger area. If I push myself I know I will trigger a headache. This often starts as just a small awareness, a sort of incipient headache which functions as a warning. The more I worked the greater the headache intensity. There were times when the headache seemed to encompass much of the left side and the top of my head. I have a headache now but it is a relatively muted “warning headache” compared to those recently experienced.
The headaches would be mitigated to a degree by a fatigue nap. However as the fatigue naps extended in duration, I noted that the headaches returned more quickly after the nap. They also showed a more immediate onset despite a full nights rest.
The longer I worked the greater my demand for sleep. When I finally took some “days off” I found myself sleeping heavily and for extended periods of time. I normally will have trouble sleeping in, or in extending sleep into normal waking hours. This was not the case after prolonged cognitive exertion.
I noted an increased performance deficit. I had greater difficulty performing after a period of extended work. My error rate increased and my awareness of this likely led to my increased degree of frustration.
I noted increased levels of frustration. Frustration was encountered earlier and earlier in the day and at increased levels of intensity.
The same was true of anger. The last time I felt considerable anger was during the late summer, early fall of 2014, a time when I began taking long six to twelve mile walks in the park. During those walks, especially on the return segment, I found myself getting angry to the point I was verbalizing to myself. I noted something similar occur during the recent period of extended effort.
I also experienced the desire to get drunk. This is very unusual for me. I have not had anything to drink since the accident and drank very sparingly prior to it. In the past week, I had the desire to just get blotto, to forget everything that was taking place, to bury my experience in a river of alcohol.
The psychological negatives arose around the time I realized that my sense of effort was very similar to the sense of effort experienced in late 2012 when undertaking the initial insurance appeal. This forced the acknowledgement that after three years there has been little change. This awareness of the lack of change had a very negative impact. It caused me to question everything I am doing, the efforts I make, the totality of my existence.
On the positive side I realize that I have not experienced eye problems in the last several months. I used to have regular problems with my eyes defocusing, or being unable to focus. There was something intermittent going on with my eyesight. This now appears to have resolved.
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