A Form of Superstition


I am afraid to even mention the pain. It is a form of superstition, the belief that to think about the pain will bring about a recall. I do not want to go there. At the same time, I want to document the experience.

In January, I went to see Dr N. He thought there might be some relationship to something that shows up on the C1 C2 vertebrae. Another more detailed MRI scan was performed and that came back negative. There were a few severe jolts yesterday but today the pain has slithered back to whatever dungeon it emerges from.

While trying to deal with the pain, I wrote a letter to a politician seeking support for the TBI Proposal. This may not have been such a good idea. On review, the letter lacks polish. It doesn’t shout “This letter was written while writhing in the throes of pain in a misguided attempt to mitigate the pain.” I feel as if I communicate with people and simply screw things up. The result is withdrawal which is likely the wrong action to take.

When I first read the Self-Therapy PDF, I was aghast. The author speaks of a sort of self-stazi, a personal form of Big Brother, a Sturmbannführer of my own mind, constantly watching for error.

04:30:27 Pain pulse, same location, right shoulder. The superstition works!

Everything just seems very impossible. Have been attempting to keep the data collection up to date on the sleep study. I think I put a big hole in it during the worst of the pain period as I failed to correctly enter data. Also, the thermometer in use was not intended for this application. It is entirely possible that I may be positioning it incorrectly and therefore causing errant readings. I searched for an oral thermometer when grocery shopping today. Didn’t find one.