If my insight into complexity is correct, then I have suffered a significant loss of function since the accident. This loss of function is demonstrated by:

• An inability to undertake prior occupation related tasks
• An inability to manage information without reliance on external aids
• An inability to effectively manage my household
• A retreat from complex avocational pursuits
• A simplification of those pursuits that I continue to engage in such as photography

In the past I welcomed all of the technical and intellectual challenges present in the field of IT. Today, I shy away from those issues and perceive them as daunting obstacles rather than as enjoyable opportunities.

I have greatly simplified my day to day cuisine. I am going through my cupboards, locating exotic out of date foodstuffs, and discarding them. In the past, I would relax by planning and cooking a challenging foreign dish. Today, I have become a basic meat and potatoes man (light on the meat) and consume a much narrower range of foods. I make no exotic dishes and I am quite satisfied with a repetitive meal plan in which I eat the same foods for several days running.

In the area of photography, I once engaged in complex routines to manage different colour spaces and control final output to a variety of print media. Today everything is output to sRGB and the target is the web. I have photographic gear that has gone untouched since the accident. Most of my current photographic activity is associated with a relatively simple camera.

Writing is the most complex activity I actively engage in, notably in the form of this blog. I force myself into this activity for the same reason others swallow cod liver oil. If the experience is bad, or difficult, then it must be good for me.

Even with regard to blogging, I encounter difficulties as soon as I make the attempt to “go under the hood,” and deal with technical issues on the back end, or implement programming hacks, and feature changes.

I have difficulty with making decisions. Decisions require the assessment of multiple variables coupled with an appreciation of an abstracted desired target outcome. I have problems with both variables and with the contemplation of alternate futures. I am somehow cemented into the present and lack the flexibility of mind that I previously enjoyed.

I experience difficulty with learning even when that learning takes the form of refresher learning, the reacquisition or enhancement of past skills.

It has taken me more than three years to arrive at the understanding and clarity I commit to the page today. I feel completely lost and adrift when I attempt to contemplate how these events will play out over the next three years.