Yesterday was sunny and warm, the perfect day to remove the battery from the car. After rounding up the necessary tools, I went out to the car (Note to self – Placed jar with removed bolts on the floor in front of driver’s seat).

The pavement around the car remained covered in ice. Melt water flooded the ice surface creating very difficult working conditions. There was an ice tool in the car. I retrieved it, broke up the ice sheet, and moved it out into direct sunlight to help it melt.

I did not stop with my little section of the parking lot. I followed the ice, cracking it, moving the shards into the sun, continuing on to the next section. I did this until a neighbour showed up and asked if I wanted him to move his car. I told him no, I was just removing some ice. He explained he was worried about possible scratches to his new car. I then understood his concern. I went back to the task of battery removal.

When I saw Dr. D on Friday, she described this form of activity as perseveration. In January, during my search for a car battery replacement, I found a $40 multimeter on sale for $10. I snapped it up thinking it might be useful on the battery project. On arriving at home, I used the multimeter to measure the voltage of every battery in the house. Clocks, flashlights, new batteries removed from their packaging, all were tested. The voltage of each battery was recorded in a spreadsheet. Hours were devoted to this activity. It was totally absorbing and highly repetitive. It was pointless. It was perseveration.

Perseveration is something I do on a regular basis. I suspect much of my research work learning about brain injury derives from a form of perseveration. Hours have been spent chasing leads from one research article to another. Endless computer files have been compiled complete with URLs, abstracts, and the correct citation information. I catch myself doing irrelevant work on the computer such as creating spreadsheets with which to record all my walk data for the next several years.

February 2nd 0130 Update

I still seem unable to corral the energy to continue with the TAQ submissions. Over two hours were spent on the car with roughly half of that time devoted to breaking ice. After coming back into the house, the sunlight faded and I ended up napping until 1930.

Trying very hard to break out of this down state. I thought this forced blogging activity would help but greater self awareness just appears to make everything worse. If no change by tomorrow morning then I shall go for a walk.