This afternoon I realized that there is another activity on which I spend a great deal of time. If I am unable to sleep, I will come downstairs and work on images for the blog.
When the blog was started, I had two concerns. The first was finding suitable header images. The second was ensuring I could meet a consistent posting schedule. To verify I could do it, I created a challenge. I had to make one post each day for a week.
I have detailed one outcome of being bullied and ostracized as a child. In an effort to fit in and be accepted as a member of the group, I sought to achieve a high standard of performance. This was based on my need to fit it in. Since my physical performance was inadequate, I attempted to compensate on other dimensions. I needed to find a way to be judged equal to everyone else lest I run the risk of being cast out and abandoned. Or worse – be made the target of attack.
This is my son. We are on a beach, hunting for clams and other wet and squiggly things. It was late winter and the world was very cold.