Big Picture Landscape View

Just realized that in the context of the blog I have never given an overview of events. Up until the present moment the blog has consisted of a series of Foxhole Views. There has been no overarching presentation of what I am engaged in doing, or why i am doing it.

The Big Picture Landscape View

At around 1945 hrs on the evening of March 06th 2011, I was rear ended while stopped at a traffic light on my way in to work.

On the morning of March 08th 2011, I was informed that our entire work-group had been dismissed and all of our work had been relocated to some other part of the planet. Our jobs were gone as easily as turning out a light switch.

Almost a year later I gained an awareness of there being something wrong with my ability to function. As part of my search for work I had performed volunteer activity roughly comparable to what I had done for Gargantua. I found my performance to be extremely poor. In my 12 years with Gargantua Computing I had been one of the top performing technical engineers. Suddenly I was having great problems performing in a similar role. The task complexity of the volunteer work was 1/10th that of the work I performed at Gargantua. The work should have been easy. It was not. It was very difficult and I continually screwed up. Since I have a background in training, I knew that this degree of skills atrophy in the course of a single year was very unusual.

My income support was coming to an end yet I felt no anxiety over this fact. In 2008 there had been a rumour of possible job loss and my awareness of this unsubstantiated rumour had triggered an extreme reaction. I later learned I was experiencing a full blown anxiety attack. By the spring 2012, the job loss was no longer a rumour. It was fact. Yet I experienced no anxiety at all. This seemed very strange.

A third issue of concern arose when I touched one part of my body and generated a sensation of pain in another part of my body. I found this to be new and unusual. I began trying to understand what was taking place and I realized that there were other unexplained phenomena: 1) I observed moving creatures that did not exist; 2) I had problems with balance when walking; 3) I would frequently lose track of task activity and suddenly not know what I was doing; 4) I had problems with word finding; 5) I appeared to be much more forgetful than I had ever been before.