Yesterday, I went to my Brain Injury Support Group. These are difficult events. I must interact with 10 other people and I have trouble keeping up with the flow of conversation. While I try to take notes, my notes are often next to useless. They end up as single word snapshots of an entire conversational thread. Without the context, I have no understanding of the meaning of my one captured code word.

Because of this difficulty, I focus on trying to remember a single important word, or concept. The key take away from yesterday’s meeting was an injunction to log positive events. This is a bit of a Pollyanna edict. It speaks to the import of trying to identify positive life events so that one does not become bogged down in despair.

My question is: How to encounter and accept an unwelcome reality?

My problem of the last several days stems from over doing it; the result is some form of “cognitive burnout.” I am able to push myself. My doctors have told me that I am very determined to recover. I believe that to be correct. So I push myself very hard and work much harder than anyone with a job. For me there is no difference between “life” and “job.” Weekends and holidays do not exist. I think this is a key aspect of the burnout, that I fail to invoke any form of break structure. This is even more true in winter when the cold restricts me from outdoor activity such as walking.

Since my period of frustration and intense difficulty, I have been on Goof-off Days. I have done little more than sleep, putter around, and avoid re-engaging in any difficult work. This seems to help. The frustration and anger are gone. There is less physical clumsiness, dropping of objects, or making messes.
 

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