Category Archives: Assess

Present Experience

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In searching the web for data to support the TBI Proposal, I was startled to encounter a description of my present experience. The following is from the web site of the New York state Office of Mental Health and serves as an introduction to a resource on cognitive problems.

Imagine for a moment what it would be like to wake up one morning and be unable to think clearly, concentrate and remember new information. You go to work eager to be productive but are unable to concentrate and after a while, your boss gets upset with you for not completing assignments and forgetting things.
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Questions Without Answers

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Completed the TBI Rehab proposal today. The first thing I did, once I cleared  all the items on the task list, was to send an email to Colin and provide him with the link and an update. I have held off communicating with him as most of what I have had to say has not been positive: a slow, drawn out response from the insurer, no response from the Minister of Health, growing awareness of my predicament, no sense of improvement. Or, if there has been improvement, it is composed of minor increments and not fit and to be noticed. I do not want to be the constant bearer of bad news. It has been easier just to remain silent and this has resulted in large gaps in communications.
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Giving Up

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Woke with a shock some time before 0600. It is now 0648. Unable to return to sleep. Unable to recover the dream state apart from the fact that it had something to do with “giving up.”

I suspect I am still dealing with the after-effects of the realization that my change in photographic practice has less to do with any improvement in my cognitive abilities and more to do with a relaxation of my prior standards.
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