I do not know what I am doing.
Went for afternoon nap. Woke from nap and realized it was early, before 0500 and therefore went back to sleep. Slept until 0700. Which I now realize is not 0700 but is actually 1900. Have this horrible sense of “How did I manage to do that?” It is a very negative feeling, as if I am adrift in space and unable to become anchored.
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This morning I feel battered. I have been pushing myself on the walks. Walk therapy appears to be the one action that I can take that delivers clear, positive result. Walking appears to smooth out potential upheavals, leaves me better prepared to cope, drives awareness and insight. I believe walking generates a Flow state. And there exists published evidence that a walk in the woods results in physical changes to the brain and an increase in positive neurotransmitters.
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I want to begin this post with a quote taken from my Accident Log:
Back from voting and grocery shop. Ran into problems making sandwich for lunch. Believe I was thinking of too many things i.e. more than one thing at a time. Realized that I did not know what I was doing with the sandwich and the sandwich ingredients, and the kitchen implements. I blurted out loud the recognition of this fact: “I don’t know what I am doing.” This seemed to help. Brought the focus of attention back to the sandwich. Like a 5-2-5 moment.