Up at 0430.
Still very down. Rudderless. Uncertain. Lacking focus. Getting up in the morning and confronting the need to deal with a document, or project demand, creates goal, focus and direction. It exercises me, animates me. Gives me reason to feel I am whole, active, responsible, capable.
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The submission went in the mail yesterday.
Just now realized that I have been engaged with that specific project since back in April, a total of 5 months. It is now gone from my life, at least temporarily.
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Having a great deal of difficulty.
Immediate problem appears to stem from preparation of a document package to be submitted tomorrow. I anticipated positive feelings from finally getting this project “in the bag.” The actual outcome has been very different and I am trying to understand why.
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