I do not know what I am doing.
Went for afternoon nap. Woke from nap and realized it was early, before 0500 and therefore went back to sleep. Slept until 0700. Which I now realize is not 0700 but is actually 1900. Have this horrible sense of “How did I manage to do that?” It is a very negative feeling, as if I am adrift in space and unable to become anchored.
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Yesterday, I collected and interpreted data to arrive at a better understanding of real world events. Today I realize I need to utilize exactly the same data centric processes to precisely evaluate my own day-to-day experience and to drive evidence based decision making. Perhaps I should rephrase that – call this an attempt at evidence based recovery. The associated tasks are as follows:
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This morning I feel battered. I have been pushing myself on the walks. Walk therapy appears to be the one action that I can take that delivers clear, positive result. Walking appears to smooth out potential upheavals, leaves me better prepared to cope, drives awareness and insight. I believe walking generates a Flow state. And there exists published evidence that a walk in the woods results in physical changes to the brain and an increase in positive neurotransmitters.
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