The Endless Attempt to Understand

I have detailed one outcome of being bullied and ostracized as a child. In an effort to fit in and be accepted as a member of the group, I sought to achieve a high standard of performance. This was based on my need to fit it in. Since my physical performance was inadequate, I attempted to compensate on other dimensions. I needed to find a way to be judged equal to everyone else lest I run the risk of being cast out and abandoned. Or worse – be made the target of attack.
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Polishing Pots and Posts

Unable to sleep last night. Woke up and worked on some images and polished this blog post.

The blog is becoming frustrating to me. I am trying to understand the reason for this.

When I started, I would happily spend hours working on a blog post, performing endless polishing and revision. This activity filled much of the day; posting to the blog left little time for anything else.
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