Category Archives: Insight

Psychic Feedback

Posted on by

I saw Dr H today and she recommended I consider Psychic Feedback. This uses equipment akin to an EEG with electrodes attached to the scalp. The subject is then exposed to a stimulus and the apparatus shows what portion of the brain is being energized by the stimulus. The objective is to permit the subject to exploit the brain’s capacity for neuroplasticity.

The estimated cost of a single session is around $100. A full set of therapy sessions would cost $2,000. Dr H recommends I consider this therapy before spending money on further neuropsych testing.

There were a couple of embarrassing moments. Somehow, my movements triggered the security alarm in Dr H’s office. I’m not sure how I did this. The siren was extremely loud and very unexpected. Apparently one of the other building occupants had set the alarm not knowing we remained in the building. Once the alarm had been set, I moved, the alarm triggered, and the building screamed.

A second embarrassment came when Dr H asked me what Dr D had said to me during our meeting the previous Friday. I could not remember my dialog with Dr D apart from two notes I made at the time:

  1. That I should consider obtaining neuropsych testing when I can afford it as this testing will provide a record of baseline function in the event I suffer a further loss of function due to adult onset dementia. Brain trauma increases the risk of dementia.
  2. Dr D also suggested that I have my GP contact both her, and Dr H, so that my GP is aware of my situation and all of the prior work that has been done. It is possible that my GP knows of resources which may be available to me in Québec. I intended to discuss this GP update topic with Dr H, and obtain her participation, but I forgot to do so.

I am worried that my lack of recent memory may make it sound as if there was no benefit from the Friday meeting. This is not the case. I had a significant positive boost from Friday’s interaction and I am trying to carry that momentum forward. Dr D warned me that episodes of depression tend to be self reinforcing. Once the depression pathways are formed then the individual has a greater likelihood of recurrent depression. The converse also appears to be true. When one engages in positive behaviours, the positive pathways are reinforced and there is a lower likelihood of being subject to a future depressive event.

 

 

 

 

 

Decision Making

Posted on by

I have had this sense that emotions are critical to decision making. Yesterday, while puttering around on the Internet, I came across a story which supports that view:

Talk about a “sea change”: today cognitive neuroscientists have begun to understand how our emotions drive virtually every decision we make, from our morning cereal choice, to who we sit next to at a dinner party, to how sight, smell, and sound affect our mood.

The above quote is part of a much longer book excerpt. The full document may be found at Salon here.

A decision involves a choice between two alternate outcomes. Once you begin to examine even the most basic decisions, you quickly discover they mandate the review of a significant amount of information. Sifting through this information requires brain horsepower. It also requires considerable time. Brain horsepower, and time, are both scarce resources. The brain is able to maximize the utilization of these resources through the use of heuristics and bias. Let me give you an example.

What are you going to eat for dinner tonight? My hunch is that you have an initial response, an immediate preference which makes itself known to you almost instantly. You didn’t need to think about it much, if at all. The answer was immediately conjured up.

If you then begin to unpack your initial choice you will likely find it was based on your existing “preference envelope,” a food stuff that you prefer above all others. In fact, once you begin to search the fridge, or your shelves, you may find the desired food is not available to you.

Were you to attempt a “rational” answer, the amount of decision relevant information would increase exponentially. Do you consider the health benefits of your next meal? Do you contemplate potential weight gain? Do you estimate the micro-nutrients required to fulfill your daily requirements?

Or do you invoke an economic perspective and consider total meal cost against your available cash budget? Decision making now requires an answer to the question “What can you afford to eat?” rather than simply what you want. Or do you begin to contemplate the amount of time required for food preparation versus the amount of time you have available? I am hungry and want sustenance now! is much different from thinking about hunting through recipe books for an hour for that Mexican recipe which requires two hours of preparation time.

The point to all this is that decision making has the potential to be a difficult and time consuming process. The mind is able to shorten this process by using established bias as a trigger criterion. This results in a satisfactory quick decision. It may not be the optimum decision but it is a workable solution.

My hunch is that decision making is subject to emotion based bias. We make choices not on the basis of observable fact, and established rational criteria, but on emotional bias, on hunches, and on memories of past pleasures.

When I try and understand why it is that I spend long sleepless nights in review of very basic events, my sense is that my inability to arrive at a decision is due to some impairment consequent on the injury. I have difficult deciding what to do because the emotional bias that would assist in decision making is in some way impaired. The outcome is that I need to do two things:

  1. Follow established patterns and routines so as to reduce the burden of decision making
  2. Where I lack such established patterns and routines, I am forced to undertake an intensive review of decision relevant criteria in order to come to a decision. This intensive review is what keeps me up all night.

Update July 21st 2014

I saw Dr H today and she described my night time efforts as an attempt at problem solving. I think her view of the process is better than mine. What I am doing at night is acknowledging a problem and then attempting to arrive at a solution. I face two different obstacles. The first is gaining an overview and awareness of my situation. The second is making a decision based on that awareness. I appear to have difficulty with both of these processes.
 

 

 

Work Opportunity

Posted on by

For the past several days I have been chasing a work opportunity. I am not sure that it will come to fruition but it has been interesting to make the attempt.

In conducting an examination of my marketable skills, I have come to the conclusion that I am unlikely to perform well in my prior role as a technical support engineer. The key drawback is my inability to quickly master new information. If IT has a core skill, that core skill is the ability to learn, to engage in constant upgrading, the continual need to gain knowledge of new techniques and technologies, to turn on a dime in respond to customer needs and demands. I understand these parameters in a conceptual sense. I am less certain of my ability to make a positive response in a real world setting. My attempts at learning have not proved fruitful.

The one thing that I do appear to be good at is writing. I do not fully understand the reason for this. My 12 years in IT did not require great skill in writing. The majority of all interaction was oral, direct to the customer, to peers, to management. There was a need to log technical notes, and maintain a record of all customer interaction, but this was a mundane form of documentation and did not truly reflect the creative gestalt of expressing complex thought in words.

I have no idea where that last phrase  –  the creative gestalt of expressing complex thought in words  –  came from. This is part of the mystery. The incomprehensibility of my life at the moment.

When I try and isolate why I appear able to write, I am forced to acknowledge the contribution made by this blog. The blog project has imposed a constant demand. There have been numerous days on which creating a post has been an inordinate struggle. Each sentence began a new battle. And, as is true of any battlefield, at the end of the day the sight was not pretty. I returned again and again to the same content, constantly reshaping and honing it.

But there were also those rare days on which the text seemed to flow unbidden across the page. I have no explanation for this, no understanding of the responsible mechanism.

Dr H has spoken of my actions acting to reprogram my neural circuits. It is very strange to contemplate that fact. I have difficulty programming in ordinary js and html. But I have no problem at all with reprogramming my own mind.