A Hunger For Beauty

It is a beautiful day fall today. The sun is out, the trees are turning, the wind is buoyant and warm. On the way to the photocopy shop, I had this urge to devote the rest of the daylight hours to photography. I had a hunger for beauty in all its forms. And it came to me that this urge to create, to find, or to identify beauty, this need to envision beauty within the confines of my world, is a drive that originates with my youth. This hunger arose as an antidote to the beatings and ostracism I suffered at the hands of my peer group. The beatings ended long ago but the hunger for beauty has remained consistent for the last 50 years.
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The Endless Attempt to Understand

I have detailed one outcome of being bullied and ostracized as a child. In an effort to fit in and be accepted as a member of the group, I sought to achieve a high standard of performance. This was based on my need to fit it in. Since my physical performance was inadequate, I attempted to compensate on other dimensions. I needed to find a way to be judged equal to everyone else lest I run the risk of being cast out and abandoned. Or worse – be made the target of attack.
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